Monday, August 16, 2010

TOP TEN REJECTED TWILIGHT CEREALS

With Brian's recent wedding, we are lacking on the lists. So Jess has allowed me to post one of her lists from her highly entertaining blog, Sweeneyville.

10. Volturi-Os
9. Unlucky Charms, now with New Moons!
8. Love Bites
7. Sparkly-comb
6. Cullen Crunchies
5. La Pusharoos
4. Honey bunches of Wolves
3. Team Fiber!
2. Frosted Forks
1. Jaspersnaps

Thursday, July 15, 2010

TOP TEN NAMES OF MORMON FIREWORKS

10. The Mortar of Jared

9. The Flight of Kishkumen

8. Piccolo Pratt

7. Benson Burners

6. Mahonri Moriancu-Mortar

5. The Great and Abominable

4. FHE - Family Home Explosion!

3. Ne-flights

2. "To me he doth not Stink" Bombs

1. Fountain of Righteousness

Monday, July 12, 2010

TOP TEN WAYS MCGYVER WOULD HANDLE THE GULF OIL SPILL

10. Call Chuck Norris and call it a day.

9. Recruit the South African Soccer fans to suck up the oil with their dang vuvuzelas, solving two problems at once.

8. Sea sponge flotilla. Duh, isn't this why we even have those things?

7. Call Obama....he sucks

6. You know all those socks that get lost in the dryer....McGyver knows where they are and he'd use them to absorb the oil.

5. He would improvise a megaphone or loudspeaker and read Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech...the oil would become so bored it would immediately sink to the bottom

4. He would soak it up using the hair from his freshly cut mullet.

3. He would ignite one of his farts burning the oil off the surface of the ocean...no wait, that would be McGruber.

2. Actually, this is an episode of Quantum Leap. Now is when that old man with the remote shows up and beams him back to before the oil spill even started. Problem solved.

1. It doesn't matter what McGyver would do. By the time he arrives at the oil spill, President Obama has socialized the spreading of oil spills. In order to avoid the new taxes and paperwork, the oil just sits still on the surface of the water.